1. Listen to the different views.

Don’t automatically accept one view that may say that a particular position is absolutely sinful and should not be practiced. Many Christians have done this, only to find years later that there are other views that point directly to scripture, showing that the position is an actual sound practice within Christian intimacy.

Research the different points of view on Christian intimacy. Then and only then, as a couple, make a sound decision on what you feel should be allowed in your relationship. Below you will find an excellent starting point when it comes to the rules.

But for now just remember, if you have already heard one point of view that sounds extremely limiting, rest assured there will be other opinions which will argue for a much more non limiting intimacy practice. In the end it will be between the two of you to make a sound decision. This decision should be arrived at by not only discussing it with one another, but also praying on the subject with one another.

2. The two main rules:

There are two main rules that you and your partner can agree on right away and begin to adhere to. These two rules have to do with: Safety and enjoyment.

Your intimacy practice should be safe. That’s a fairly straight forward, common sense rule that any Christian can agree with and adhere to. Any practice that places obvious harm, should not be allowed. Below you will learn how to find out what practices are safe and allowed. You likely will be pleasantly surprised at what practices are safe and acceptable within Christian intimacy.

Next, enjoyment should be paramount. You should focus your sex life on the enjoyable nature in which it is meant to be. Focus on techniques and practices that will make for a joyous, exciting and intimately pleasing experience.

3. The Christian sex manual:

Getting a Christian sex manual is a must. A good manual will outline what is said to be allowable and what is not, as well as provide amazing and exciting tips and techniques for Christian sex. You can gain a wealth of knowledge just overnight by reading up on acceptable ways to greatly increase your intimate Christian experience.

You will also learn tips, techniques and even intimacy tricks to become more pleasurable and pleasing during intimacy. And of course everything is considered Christian safe. There are even Christian sex toys which are allowable. Christian intimacy manuals will describe the best and most safe forms of intimacy toys which can add excitement, pleasure and variety to your relationship.

Here’s an excellent Christian Sex Manual which outlines rules as well as intimate tips and techniques - Christian Sex Manual This was written by an average Christian who made it his life’s work to bring Christian couples closer to one another -Christian Sex Manual

Is that one of the oddest things you’ve ever heard?

It was for me.

How can happiness be unreasonable? If I was giddy, or manic, or obviously unhinged, I’d understand the comment. But that’s never been the case. Those comments were directed toward me when my life’s circumstances were understood: I have two children with a serious mental illness, bipolar disorder. When other people learn that fact, they sometimes feel pity, or sadness, or some other negative emotion. I understand that. We never expect to have less than perfectly healthy offspring, and we certainly don’t expect people to be happy about the fact when they do. But how defeating is that attitude? I mean, really, since two of my kids have an inherited illness (that can be treated, by the way), I should live in a puddle of my own despair?

I don’t think so!

I think we are meant to be happy; and I’ve always made happiness my aim, despite the obvious let-downs and challenges. We can all make that choice. And it is a choice

Researchers from across the US, including groups at University of California at Riverside, University of Illinois, University of Minnesota and University of Pennsylvania, have studied happiness and all its intricate makings and workings. As I read their findings I identified five common components, or keys, to the development of happiness in anyone’s life, regardless of circumstance. You might be surprised at how simple it is to be happy.

The 5 Keys to Happiness:

* Develop Strong, Healthy Connections to Friends and Family

* Nurture a Belief in Something Bigger Than Yourself

* Create Goals Based on Your Values and Enjoyment

* Be Grateful and Forgiving

* Commit to Good Health through Good Self Care

Develop Strong, Healthy Connections to Friends and Family

Time and energy invested in friendships and family create fulfilling relationships, intimacy, and a support system for all involved. Every study I’ve ever read on happiness, longevity or wellness points to the fact that being connected to other people is vital to our well-being on almost every level. Loving, caring, intimate relationships benefit us mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Family and friends are crucial - the wider and deeper the relationships with those around us, the better.

Nurture a Belief in Something Bigger Than Yourself

The second vital ingredient is having meaning in life, a belief in something bigger than yourself — whether it is religion, spirituality or a philosophy of life. This speaks to purpose and hope and faith all at once. No one religion or philosophy universally leads to greater happiness than another. The belief, not what is believed in, is what makes the difference. People who ponder the big questions in life and choose a belief system and path, even if that choice changes over time, are happier than those who feel hopeless and alone. Not a big surprise, is it?

Create Goals Based on Values and Enjoyment

The third key is having goals that mesh with your values and allow you to enjoy what you do. We find fulfillment by having goals that offer enjoyment and use our strengths and abilities. This allows us to get into the “flow,” an engrossing state that comes during creative or playful activity, according to psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. Athletes, musicians, writers, gamers, and religious adherents know the feeling. It comes less from what you’re doing than from how you do it.

Mr. Csikszentmihalyi (pronounced chick-sent-me-high-ee) describes flow as “being completely involved in an activity for its own sake. The ego falls away. Time flies. Every action, movement, and thought follows inevitably from the previous one, like playing jazz. Your whole being is involved, and you’re using your skills to the utmost.” Now that would make anybody happy!

Be Grateful and Forgiving

Develop gratitude and forgiveness. This is sometimes difficult, especially when you’re in a particularly challenging place. But the fact is, finding the good in any situation makes it easier to find your way out. Make lists of things for which you’re grateful, notice life’s small pleasures, and practice positive thinking. And finally, learn to forgive. Forgive yourself. Forgive others. Every major religion or philosophy cites forgiveness as a powerful tool toward redemption. It is a powerful tool toward happiness. According to author and lecturer Gregg Easterbrook, “Research shows that people who are grateful, optimistic and forgiving have better experiences with their lives, more happiness, fewer strokes, and higher incomes.” Be grateful. Learn to forgive. Then do it.

Commit to Good Health through Good Self Care

Most disease develops or is exacerbated by drinking too much alcohol, eating the wrong foods or too much food, failing to move enough or sleep enough, and failing to access medical screening tests. Many health concerns are avoidable if you commit to good health by taking good care of yourself. And then, of course, you’re better able to take care of those around you and pursue the goals you’ve set based on your values and skills. Eating right, getting adequate exercise and appropriate sleep, and seeing the doctor for regular preventative check-ups all lead to better health, which leads to greater happiness. And when illness strikes despite doing all these things, wellness, healing, or a sense of peace with the inevitable are more achievable if you’re committed to good self care. Good self care benefits everyone. Good self care, quite simply, leads to a healthier, happier you and a healthier, happier world.

Consider your options, your choices. Choose happiness. Embrace the 5 keys to happiness. And then BE!

To learn more about happiness, check out the work of these noted individuals:

* Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi: http://www.brainchannels.com/thinker/mihaly.html

* Ed Diener, University of Illinois: http://www.psych.uiuc.edu/~ediener/

* Gregg Easterbrook, Author and Lecturer: http://www.greggeasterbrook.com

* Sonja Lyubomirsky, University of California at Riverside: http://www.faculty.ucr.edu/~sonja/

* Martin Seligman, University of Pennsylvania: http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/seligman.aspx

Kate McLaughlin writes, speaks and advocates for mental health awareness. She is available to speak at events for high school & college students and faculties, as well as mental health support groups. Visit her at: Kate McLaughlin and read her newest book, MOMMY I’M STILL IN HERE.

There was a strong anti-American sentiment among early Mormons who felt persecuted by the government whose democratic values threatened their rising theocratic system. The general public was opposed to the strange movement known as Mormonism and mobs formed among the populace that drove the Mormons from one location to the next. They were eventually driven out of the United States into Utah Territory which at the time was an isolated and hostile environment where the Mormons hoped to be left alone where they could practice polygamy openly.

And indeed, Mormons had cause for such anti-Americanism. They were brutally persecuted wherever they went with government officials often looking the other way. There was a strong resistance to the establishment of Mormonism in America. It was often due to the mixing of church and state as well as rumors of men practicing a peculiar law of marriage that violated old Christian standards of monogamy.

Once Mormonism settled in Utah, polygamy was openly practiced. The church controlled businesses and schools and frowned upon any contact with gentiles. As a result, there were standoffs between the US government and Mormons whose strange practices and huge memberships in the thousands (with thousands more immigrating from Europe to Utah territory), posed a threat to the survival of the infant United States who was still establishing an identity. The Mormons hoped to be left alone in Utah Territory to practice polygamy and establish their own rules of conduct but it was not meant to be. Utah was the central point in bringing East and West together with the joining of the Transcontinental Railroad in 1869 and was destined to become a part of the United States. But the United States would not allow Utah statehood as long as polygamy was flourishing under a theocratic system.

In 1878 leaders of the Mormons, believing that the constitution would protect their religious freedoms decided to challenge the Bigamy Act. In the case of United States versus Reynolds the Supreme Court confronted the First Amendment’s free exercise of religion. After much debate and scrupulous study of the founder’s intent for the First Amendment, the Supreme Court carried a unanimous vote to uphold the Bigamy Act and created the Edmunds-Tucker Act which unincorporated the Church and disenfranchised the women. The Edmunds Tucker Act was essentially separating church and state. The Mormons’ plan had backfired. It appeared that polygamy was on its way out except that in 1886 John Taylor who succeeded Brigham Young in the presidency of the Mormon Church received a revelation demanding the preservation of polygamy. The alleged revelation remained a secret and in 1890 the Mormon Church issued a manifesto renouncing polygamy.

In 1896 Utah entered the Union and Mormon Fundamentalism was born on the underbelly of the Church. It wasn’t until the 1940’s that Mormon fundamentalism divorced its parent. For many years, well into the 1920’s and 30’s Mormon fundamentalists were encouraged to remain members of the church as long as they could knowing full well that many of the Church leaders were practicing polygamists. It didn’t take long after excommunication for Mormon Fundamentalism to splinter off into groups each of them struggling over the issue of authority.

The first ordination of authority for Mormon fundamentalism in 1886 was performed in secrecy. This secrecy became a feature of Mormon fundamentalism in every respect. Marriages were performed in secret, meetings were held in secret, plural wives lived in secret and children were born in secret. Many children were born with falsified last names on birth certificates as well as imaginary fathers. During the early years, reprisal by the government was of great concern and posed a huge threat to the struggling groups.

Secrecy is a dark veil that hides corruption. Behaviors of abuse, both sexual and physical were not promoted by Mormon fundamentalists but were natural products of the secrecy to which they were bound. To reveal an abuser within the group meant to reveal the group. So Mormon fundamentalism became a safe haven for abuse, control, and the violation of personal rights for there was no one to be accountable to. This dynamic existed within families as well as within the different groups as a whole.

In 1946, a group of men were arrested, convicted and jailed on charges of polygamy/bigamy and some of them spent several years in prison for refusing to sign documents stating that they would not live polygamy and would leave their non-legal wives. Most of the men did not sign and therefore served their sentences simultaneously providing Mormon fundamentalism with heroes and martyrs.

In 1953, Arizona officials raided the town of Colorado City then known as Short Creek. Children were taken from their parents and placed in foster care and men were taken to jail. But ultimately the public was against this action taken by the government and there was tremendous media sympathy. The government, realizing that the American public would not support the removal of Mormon fundamentalists by force, began to leave them alone. In spite of this, the continued fear of being discovered or taken to prison was very real and lingered on in the minds and hearts of those who experienced it. This fear was planted in the hearts of children who were isolated from all societies but their own. These fears reinforced the secrecy and the secrecy reinforced the fears. In spite of the fears there was a long period of quiet for Mormon fundamentalism and the separation between the LDS Church and Mormon fundamentalism widened. That ended in April when Texas officials raided an FLDS compound in Eldorado.

Mormon fundamentalism as it stands today is diverse in beliefs and doctrine as well as divided on issues of authority. Most of these splinter groups have a selection of men that reside as the authorities and each group claims the true chain of command. Others practice what is referred to as the one-man doctrine such as the FLDS. Some Mormon fundamentalists defy any religious authority and practice polygamy as independents. Some have strict dress codes while others are very liberal in their appearance.

Many of these groups are struggling to evolve and reform but the need for secrecy prevents them from being able to create the level of accountability necessary for reform. By understanding the history of these groups there can be hope for reconciliation between Mormon fundamentalists and the government of the United States. This is a pivotal point for both sides. Will history repeat itself or will both parties recognize the opportunity that stands before them?

Only time will tell.

Susanna Barlow is the 23rd child of 46 children, the quintessential middle child. Her fundamentalist religious upbringing shaped her life, her values, and her views on literally everything. Though no longer affiliated with polygamous groups on a religious level, she is surrounded by family & friends who practice polygamy. For more information, visit: Susanna Barlow.

But hierarchies are not always dysfunctional. Consider a pack of wolves. It is a form of hierarchy where one’s rank must be earned but there is a distinctive democratic element. One is not arbitrarily ranked but is free as an individual to act. Any wolf within the pack can challenge the alpha male. The alpha male can be replaced easily by another male that can defeat the alpha in a test of strength, courage and endurance. The pack members follow the toughest and most able leader. The females will only mate with a male that has proven his fitness for the job. Once the ranking is established everyone accepts their place and there is group solidarity and cohesion.

Mormon fundamentalists have established their own pack; but it lacks democracy. Men do not challenge the leaders and women do not challenge their husbands and children do not challenge their parents. This has a polarizing effect keeping the weak and the strong separated and preventing the exchange of power. The argument is made that all individuals are not equal. A child is not equal to a parent for example in experience or development. Democracy does not claim equality of individuals but equality of opportunity. It is diversity and change that is at the premise of creation and survival. Humans are social creatures and seek out groups to ensure survival as well as companionship. But it is this tendency toward tribalism that has created so many of the existing problems with any social order from large corporations to the military to organized religion. But social groups can work if there is freedom and individuality.

A good example is the common book club. Membership into the group is voluntary. Everyone in the group agrees to read the same book then meets together to discuss different perspectives and viewpoints. The club or group benefits from the contributions of each individual member but only when all members are encouraged to express their opinions particularly when those opinions differ from the other members. The foundation of the group is built upon freedom of choice while individuality is the life’s blood of the group. It is the freedom that allows the group to develop and grow and the individuality that keeps it alive. There may be many levels of intellect, some greater and some lesser but there is equal opportunity for all.

But there is catch to social orders and groups: the need to belong. We will often tolerate much that we don’t like in order to belong. In herds of wild horses the worst punishment the matriarch of the herd can inflict on an unruly member is rejection. All the horses turn their backs to the member being punished. It is very effective and it isn’t long before the outcast is humbled and begs back into the herd. The need to belong becomes a crutch with the need for approval following on the heels belonging. Acceptance of the tribe limits free thought and the expression thereof. Freedom comes with a high price tag that many folks aren’t willing to pay.

In early human history, freedom was a currency that was exchanged for the security of belonging and survival. Tribes were formed and civilizations arose while freedom and individuality waned. Organized religion is a tribe that centers on spiritual survival rather than physical survival. Freedom is exchanged for the security of the promise of salvation. The group connects and forms bonds based on similarities while rejecting the one thing that would prevent it from becoming corrupt: differences.

Individuality and freedom magnify the polarities of human nature. But it also offers human development an opportunity to evolve beyond survival of the fittest. Before democratic communal living can work the individual must be fully developed and liberated. Civilizations have risen and fallen because they failed to recognize the power of the individual to drive change and being unwilling to adapt to change, they failed. In order for civilizations to last they must never become static.

A good example of this is the TV series ER. It has run now for fourteen years. While other dramas come and go it has had the staying power those others shows have simply run out of. Why? The answer is simple. The show has a revolving cast. It is in a constant state of change bringing new characters and different dilemmas to the forefront. But this created a conflict. Would the show lose its following of viewers if it killed off the cast? Several major characters have died on the show and are replaced. Did ER lose some of its viewers? Yes; only to gain new viewers. The argument can be made that you shouldn’t eliminate characters from a show that is distinctly character driven. It would appear to be television suicide. ER does something unique from other medical dramas. When the characters have been fully exhausted instead of recycling the characters with redundant issues they are replaced by fresh new faces with new crises to resolve. This is the secret to the show’s longevity.

Likewise, Mormon fundamentalism has reached a pivot point. It has fully exhausted its resources and its ideals. It will either reform itself or it will fall. Like empires of the past that have imploded because of hubris and denial of freedoms Mormon fundamentalism has become top-heavy. It is an authority driven society that limits freedom and creates spiritual dependency. Solidarity is based upon twin fears: fear of the outside world and fear of rejection from within. Individuals within Mormon fundamentalism must challenge the system and allow the old to die to make room for the new.

Individuality is the foundation for reform and without freedom individuality is sacrificed on the altar of security. In the words of Benjamin Franklin, “Anyone willing to trade freedom for security deserves neither freedom nor security.” Mormon fundamentalism does not deserve the security or the protection of the constitution unless it is willing to establish a freer environment, one that offers equal opportunity to its members. It can reform itself and must reform itself by respecting individuality and freedom as the cornerstones of lasting societies.

Susanna Barlow is the 23rd child of 46 children, the quintessential middle child. Her fundamentalist religious upbringing shaped her life, her values, and her views on literally everything. Though no longer affiliated with polygamous groups on a religious level, she is surrounded by family & friends who practice polygamy. For more information, visit: Susanna Barlow.

This list making thing started when years ago my Mom gave me this little red booklet in the midst of a personal crisis. The booklet was encouraging making a list of all the things you wanted for your life. Start writing and at the end of the weekend, and not before, she said, will we talk about it. O.K. Mom. I wrote lists, more lists, edited them, threw stuff at the page with great fury and exuberance. I wrote and edited in a storm. The next day those things that seemed exactly what I wanted stayed on the list. Other things that seemed great yesterday and now seemed ludicrous or totally alien to anything I would ever consider doing or being went away. By the end of the weekend, I had a handle on the immediate crisis and the beginning of some Light for a long term picture. I had run the marathon of non-stop list making.

What’s the difference between writing a vision for one’s life and making a grocery list. Little difference except the vision list needs more detail and the grocery list can be in shorthand. The point is to write it down; to be get on the page, to take the time to think about what we see for ourselves. Someone said to me the other day, I think we should all walk around with a wish list.

I meet unexpected people in unexpected places. In these meetings answers to questions get answered. Theses social moments often bring the very person I need in answer to a wish. And I believe having been clear on the page I am better able to recognize who this messenger is, that indeed, this is the person who can help me or who will lead me to where I want or need to go. I like this process.

I don’t remember Mom being a list maker except for groceries but she got this bee in her bonnet that sure turned me into one. I have noticed, once made, if I put it away I barely look at the list again. Things seem to take care of themselves. Do these lists have life? They seem to in my household.

Jill Butler is an author, illustrator, designer and creativity coach. Her product designs are specific to France as are her first three books. Jill now writes for women in transition and how the home and the personal transformation work hand in hand in her latest book, Create the Space You Deserve. For more, visit: Jill Butler.

Some people seem almost addicted to these types of purchases. Some have huge collections of success “packages” on their shelves, and have neither used them nor attempted to get a refund of their money. They experience a deep shame and embarrassment connected to the purchases. They seem to feel a sense of personal failure for not having made those zillion dollars in 20 seconds time…or indeed anything at all.

Indeed, they felt humiliated every time they looked at the unopened packages. Yet, in spite of all this, they continued to buy these schemes at every opportunity. For most, they did not stop buying until their credit ran out. What is happening here?

1.) They are usually in a state of financial desperation when they start down this path…so they are in a place of desperately seeking and needing a quick solution to their financial situation.

2.) It may be a part of the human animal to have a streak of laziness that breeds an unrealistic and unlikely desire for a magical and easy solution to the financial mess that took years to create.

3.) This desire for an easy solution usually has a huge rescue fantasy component to it. It is something akin to thinking a rich billionaire is going to come along to bail you out any day now. This rescue fantasy is triggered by the presentation of the get rich quick scheme. You just know that this scheme is the answer and can rescue you from your desperate financial situation.

4.) The whole dynamic is fed by a severe aversion to “getting a job”…fed to you by the same people selling you the scheme. Part of the psychology of these schemes has been to turn honest work into something to be sneered at…as if only a fool would work (synonymous with holding a job).

Everywhere you go, hordes of people who have never succeeded in their career work believe they are going to be successful in creating “massive passive income” in 20 seconds…without any work.

Now that we understand the intricacies of schemes, how is a plan different? A plan is grounded in everyday reality. It has a timeline that probably extends over years. It involves a lot of work–but hopefully it is work that you love and enjoy. If not, your plan will probably not succeed. Choosing the right plan is another topic. For our purposes here, it is enough to assume you have chosen a plan to do something meaningful that excites you. Here are some components of a plan.

1.) It consists of numerous, small, doable steps that you can easily do and/or learn how to do.

2.) It will take work, but is leading you somewhere to accomplishing something with deep meaning for you.

3.) When you consider the plan, it is realistic. There is risk, but the reward is very gratifying. When you look at all the small actions, you do not go into fantasies of unrealistic proportions. It feels solid. It feels doable. There is some excitement at the scope of it, and some trepidation at the new enterprise, but it doesn’t lead to “head in the clouds” inaction.

4.) You are ready, willing and able to start taking action immediately–and you do.

5.) It is in alignment with you, your values, your personality, your preferences, your strengths. It does not include or require your doing things you will never do, hate doing, would rather die than do. It plays to your strengths, not your weaknesses.

For instance, if your plan is based on “cold calling” but you would hate every minute of doing so, it’s the wrong plan–and may be a scheme (because it is unrealistic).

Now that you have in depth information about the difference between a scheme and a plan, look at the options life presents you from this viewpoint. Make your choices so that you will have real and lasting success. Don’t waste time and money on “Get Rick Quick” schemes that only enrich the seller. Realize that the odds of making money are something like 1 success in a 100 people attempting. Assuredly, every single person who now enjoys “massive passive income” will tell you that it took them years and years and very hard work to get there. Don’t be taken!

Suzi Elton is a success coach working with highly creative types to create income that matches their talent.She has coached hundreds of clients to approach their goals strategically through tiny steps to bring about quantum leaps. Get free Life Purpose exercises, at http://mylifepurposecoaching.com.

It quickly becomes clear that you are expected to conform to these expectations and that you are seen as a winner or loser according to how well you do so. If you find yourself experiencing some discomfort at fulfilling the desires and living a life dictated by the wishes of others, here are a few ideas.

1.) Be willing to get clear on your values and goals. Most of us are reared to embrace the values and goals of our parents and family members. We don’t give a lot of thought to how we truly believe and think and aspire. We simply parrot what we’ve been taught. We have never thought deeply about our own beliefs and most of us would not dare to hold conflicting beliefs. Without examining these for yourself, the possibility of a deeply gratifying and authentic life becomes impossible. Instead, you simply “go along” with your life as someone else has laid it out for you.

2.) If, upon examination, you discover the desire to live a life counter to what’s been expected, it will take some will and fortitude to forge the new path. When we find ourselves deciding to create a life of our own choosing, there is likely to be resistance from others. Typically, those with expectations for us are unlikely to abandon them willingly. Those who desire to run our lives will inevitably find our choices disappointing.

It’s the nature of those who desire to manipulate to their own ends–they want to have their way–even with your life. This is a tough dynamic to encounter.

3.) The more that you can gain and maintain clarity on your own desires, the better. Take the time to write out your desires and write a plan to achieve them. You may be put in a place where you receive no family support for your desires. Clarity is critical in this situation.

4.) Get the support you need. Hire a coach, get a mentor, join a mastermind, or take classes at an entrepreneur center. Find and create the support system you need to fulfill your goals.

5.) Once you’re clear on what you want for your life, examine your concepts of winning and losing. Now that your focus is on the life you want, what does winning look like to you–through your own eyes. Previously, winning was defined by the opinions of others. It can be a challenge to release the hold these opinions have on us. It’s a huge shift to define winning and losing from our own viewpoint–and our own desires. Perhaps previously, winning meant attaining certain achievements, owning certain possessions, and belonging to certain groups. From your own desires, this is likely to involve entirely different criteria.

It could be that you value doing more creative work, making significant contributions, or having meaningful relationships. Your definitions of winning can be severely at odds with what is expected of you. “Losing”, in the past, meant not meeting the expectations of others. From your point of view, losing could be defined as the failure to fulfill your desires for your life. Again, your definition of losing is quite different from what your family holds.

6.) It can be very challenging to “swim against the tide” of your family’s wishes for you. There may be conflict, disappointment, anger, frustration, and hostility. There may even be major rejection and worse. This is difficult, but when you realize what it means–those who “love” you want to control you–your best positioning is to hold your ground. Are you willing to surrender control of your life to others?

7.) In the best of situations, when your family realizes your convictions, they will be able to recognize and support your goals. This may be a long while in coming and in the worst cases, never happens at all. It’s wise to create a supportive environment–of those who understand and value your goals and intentions. Your family may eventually value your path–or not.

Take the time to examine and explore your values and goals. Redefine winning and losing to align with the life you really want.

Suzi Elton is a success coach working with highly creative types to create income that matches their talent. She has coached hundreds of clients to approach their goals strategically through tiny steps to bring about quantum leaps. Get free Life Purpose exercises, at http://mylifepurposecoaching.com

Even when those news stories have no direct impact on you, it’s hard not to imagine, think about, and fear being affected by negative affects on the general economy. Your positive and cheerful mindset is completely overwhelmed by fear of potential financial devastation. One of the worst missteps is the decision to quit–quit taking the necessary steps to further the progress of your life.

If feeling like quitting is your current positioning, here are some ideas to think about.

1.) Being tempted to quit is a normal reaction to overwhelming financial fear. It is simply human to ask ourselves if giving up is the right action. You’ll be better off if you realize that the temptation is a normal human response–and decide not to give in to it. Giving in at this point is a sure prescription to go into a depressive downward spiral. Quitting taking action is not an answer, and certainly is not an effective answer.

2.) Realize that continuing to take action is the absolutely smartest thing you can do. Action is always the best preventative for depression. If you’ve completed a day of effective action, you will not go into depression. Inactivity is a mistake.

3.) Examine the financial conditions and assess whether or not there is anything you can do to change the circumstances. Most of the time, problems in the economy are totally out of our control. This is the greatest cause of our fear–we are at the effect of conditions created by others. You may want to consider that the fact that it is out of your control can be used to release at least some of the fear connected with it. In the same way that your fear about a train wreck will not impact that wreck…at least release yourself as much as possible from the paralyzing fear.

4.) Are there things that you need to do financially? Are there changes you need to make to your accounts and investments? Do you need to learn, research, analyze? Do you need advice? Focus at least some of your actions and energy on doing the financial things you need to do and can do to make a difference in your life.

5.) Be leery of being sucked into any generalized negative energy pattern of those about you. This is a huge challenge. “Buying into” that negativity will incapacitate you and keep you frozen in inactivity. Observe this energy, but choose not to absorb it. Look at this from a detached higher viewpoint. When you think back over your life and realize all the crises you’ve already survived, it will give you some perspective. This too shall pass.

6.) This is a great time to re-evaluate your strategy. Create a block of time to focus on and examine all your strategies and assess whether or not they need to be changed, tweaked or dropped altogether. Don’t get into a downward spiral of hopelessness. Just take a deep, introspective look at your all encompassing action plans. Some actions will be immediately apparently no longer useful. Some new ideas will arise and seem critical. Some tweaks and outright alterations will be obvious. Do this fearlessly. Be willing to let go of outdated or irrelevant strategies–even if you have great attachment to them.

If you find yourself sinking into the morass of financial fear, take the time to explore other possibilities. We don’t have to take ourselves out of the game because of financial fear. Keeping on moving forward, taking action–choosing not to quit–is a decision that ultimately will deliver us the results we want.

Yes, it can be quite challenging to keep in action–and not go into “freeze” mode–when it appears financial ruin threatens. Maintaining control over our reactions and actions is the key.

Suzi Elton is a success coach working with highly creative types to create income that matches their talent. She has coached hundreds of clients to approach their goals strategically through tiny steps to bring about quantum leaps. Get free Life Purpose exercises, at http://mylifepurposecoaching.com

There are times in life when the only answer is to just keep moving. What does this mean?

1.) It means that continuing to take action is the only answer. Make the decision that you aren’t going to give up on your life–without a fight. During these kinds of times, this is the hardest choice of all…and the hardest one to continue to maintain decisiveness about. It is the key choice though that will do the most for turning your situation around.

2.) Get out a pen and paper and do some brainstorming about actions you could take. Write everything down…even the “crazy ideas”. This is simply brainstorming–just writing it down is not yet a commitment.

3.) If you have some trusted friends who would be willing to brainstorm with you, that’s even better…because you’d get some great ideas you might not think of alone. During this process, don’t screen anything out.

4.) Now, take some time alone with your big fat juicy list and start to organize it for usefulness. You might have three columns, titled something like, “Definitely Do”, “Pursue Maybe”, and “Probably Not–Now”. Categorize all the items on the list. List all the items in priority with the most important on top. When you’re finished with this, you have a list with the most valuable, definite choices at the top of the left column, and the unrealistic definite no’s at the bottom of the right column.

5.) Now, take everything in the, “Definitely Do” column and assign a date when you intend to take action on it. Now you have an action plan.

6.) Keep your action plan handy and use it to keep you focused on the actions you need to be taking.

7.) Add to the action plan as you go. Make it a living document.

8.) Whatever you do, don’t allow yourself to fall into depression. If you do, you are lost. Yes, it is human to get low sometimes. The key though is to keep moving. If we become self indulgent about depression and “feeling sorry for ourselves”, we will get stuck there…and solving our problems becomes impossible. You’re probably thinking that it’s not so easy to keep from being depressed. Experiment with continuing to take action no matter what you feel like. Just taking action itself will lessen depression or keep it at bay.

9.) Exercise is the best preventative for depression that there is. If you exercise on a regular basis–5-6 days a week–and you just make yourself exercise no matter how low you feel–the depression will lift and you will start to feel better.

The hardest thing to do and the best solution for overwhelming problems is to just keep moving and taking action to solve our problems.

Suzi Elton is a success coach working with highly creative types to create income that matches their talent. She has coached hundreds of clients to approach their goals strategically through tiny steps to bring about quantum leaps. Get free Life Purpose exercises, at http://mylifepurposecoaching.com

It is some comfort then to realize this and remind yourself when you are in the darkest part of the dark night of the soul. Seeing it as simply another cycle can be slightly soothing in the darkest night. It probably won’t help the helpless feelings, but can slightly calm the mind.

When you find yourself having a “dark night”, what are some things that can help you move through it?

1.) Don’t fight it. Once it’s obvious you’re going to be sleepless, give in to that. One possibility is to turn on the light and read. Escapist, writing comes in handy at times like this since it can distract us temporarily. Usually by taking our minds off problems, we can regain a sleepiness and go back to sleep.

2.) There will be times when things are so upsetting that even reading does not work…indeed, not only does it not work, insofar as getting us sleepy, but it’s even impossible to read. In these kinds of situations, it may be best to actually give in and get out of bed and do something else. If this is your course of action, there are a couple of possibilities as to what to do when you’re up in the middle of the night. Let’s assume that you’re too restless to watch TV and there’s nothing on in the middle of the night anyway.

a. Working on strategies or action plans to solve the problem is a great solution. Yeah, if it was that easy, you’d solve the problem during the daylight. Sometimes, though sleeplessness can be a great source of ideas and brainstorming that is not accessible to us in regular waking hours. One caution, though, be sure and write all your ideas down clearly and completely. It’s usually a one shot deal and if you don’t get the details down on paper, you can’t replicate it later.

b. The second mid-night activity that can shift you energetically is to get up and clean, clear and organize something. Especially target something that really bugs you in the day time. If there are various possibilities (and there frequently are) consider doing the one that bugs you the most that you have the best chance of completing in the hours you have available.

The main consideration is not to get something all torn up and leave a giant mess. Choosing something that can definitely get completed is the key.

Once the new day has begun, a lot of energy comes from having made something better, and that alone can make the new day a bit brighter. We all experience the “dark night of the soul” in life. When it is something that keeps us sleepless, we can best calm our self by using that sleepless time to take small steps to improving our life.

Suzi Elton is a success coach working with highly creative types to create income that matches their talent. She has coached hundreds of clients to approach their goals strategically through tiny steps to bring about quantum leaps. Get free Life Purpose exercises, at http://mylifepurposecoaching.com